I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
