your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am one with the molecules
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
