I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
