Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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