So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
