I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
