So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize