apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
