my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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