Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
