thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
