How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
