hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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