honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize