I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
