Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Little spoons don't ask big questions
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
do nipples grow back?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
