ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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