He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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