Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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