my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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