Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
