Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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