Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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