It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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