Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
