I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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