windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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