Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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