someone get that fucking seahorse.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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