Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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