I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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