my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
