We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
