as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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