I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
