so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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