He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I smell like Dick and happiness
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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