What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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