You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
