What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
