But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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