Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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