I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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