They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
