it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
