I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize