The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
