everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
