I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
