Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
