So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
