dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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