Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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