At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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