you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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