Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
