sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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