I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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