You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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